AHHH!!

OKAY! your probbly wodnering whitch is most likely what is worng with miss chelsey now? Why is she always doing this and why Is she acting the way she is!. Im just not happy with my self and I Am beating myself up for it now I may not be the most popular girl in any place And I may not have as many prolbems and I may not Be A Crazy Slut That dates Tons Of Guyz! I May not be a Toatally Perfect Christian That Focases There Lives On God! But You Know! I Try And Just Becuase I Dont Get It At First Dosent Make Me Any Worse Or Any Better Then ANyone And The Way People Are Acting Lately Just Makes Me Wanna Punch There Lights Out! But Thats Not All This Is About You Know I May Not Be Smart,I May Not Be Hott Or Pretty Or Anything Like That,But Honestly People semd sp much time on that they dont even relaize the one true goal in life,now it makes me feel really alone knowing I may be the only turly "focased" christian in maybe my grade. well Im probably not but it sure seems like it by the way People are acting lately and it makes me Sick! but it doesnt make me feel any better! No it does not. now the usual reaction from most fellow christians would be to PRAY About it And Let god forgive all your sins! well let me tell you somthing Mr Or Mrs I Think I Know Everything!Ive done that! lots And It dosent make me feel any better.. maybe it dose at times but there are those things you just wanna scream about and rip out your hair cause you know things gotta change but you really dont want them to!I seroulsly if I could I would just go 2 sleep and never wake up.that suicide stuff is a bunch of crap I just wanna Be a normal person! I dont wanna deal with life and I really dont wanna deal with I know is gunna happen soon.. ad no it is not school,it is not summer being gone and it is not dan&janelle leaving. I just wanna Have one normal Day is that too much to ask? I just wanna Not have a day without having to go into my room and cry until I start Hacking! Is that too much to ask? Is it? I Guess It Is..I Just Wanna Get Away From This Place..Forever.. And I May Be Alone.. but atleast I wouldent Have to put up with this crap.Im sick of this.how people treat me just because I seem quite,or how guyz push me around cause they think Im weak calling me stuff i dont even wanna say. I just wanna .scream!!!!!!!!

chelsey