Dear You

Im sorry, I really am, i dont even need to be, but i dont know what i did wrong, because now you wont even look at me, and it scares me, your my best friend, we atleast you were, you were the only person who understood me, it seems ever since that day, you've been avoiding me, I miss you, and thats stupid, cause i see you everyday, we use to be such good friends, like siblings even, but i guess things have changed since middle school, yesterday you were my best friend, but i guess its tomorrow that brought you away, I guess its my fault for not interacting as much with your "friends" as i should of, I just dont know what to say, Im sorry, we promised we'd always be friends... but I guess a year apart, changes more then I thought it would.. it just.. breaks my heart..

praying for you.. for us.. =(

Video

Hey all, just a video i made.. so.. enjoy =)<3

stained glass masquerade- casting crowns

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

CHORUS
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open

Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

CHORUS 2x

But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small


Cant this song describe us all at one time or another? isnt there times in this world where we feel so different from everyone else, we feel torn apart, different, just not like everyone else, if your anwser is no, then you are lying to yourself, everyone wants to have a good image, even if the inside its not so great, I think this is song is trying to say that everyone has thier own mask they hide behind, and even with a smile and a good attuide, you can still feel rotten inside, but you don't have to feel rotten inside if you confess to Jesus, he can take all that pain and rotteness away, that really is a good song, it just, touched me.

Somthing Weird!

i love my church, and you know what!! im never gunna get sick of saying that, i love how much i can be apart of my church and be welcomed with open arms everytime i go there, every church is usually like this, but theres Just somthing about the BCCOC that makes me happier, makes me feel proud in, maybe cause the congragation there is so Big, and almost every single one of them make a part of the church, i mean what would the church be without the people? Just a buliding.. because Jesus just doesnt stay in the buliding, i mean he goes with us everywhere we go, right?

Anyway, I was looking at the Word CHURCH .. and how it had the word UR. into. short form of your. (go figure eh?) .. but really got me thinking, how we gotta put the UR back in church, you cant spell Church without UR. which means you cant really run a church without YOU! the people, because its people like the Ministers, Sunday School Teachers, Youth Leaders, And even the people who go there, who make the church what it is, and without UR. your just have Chch. whitch doesnt make much sence does it? I mean we have alot of People helping out and stuff, but there can be more..

well.. maybe thats not so weird, just a little acronum that i thought of, =)

"Lets Put the UR Back In Church People!"

really..

I hate .. absoulty hate feeling sorry for myself, most of all cause when i do, i dont even have a reason! and im just so sick of talking about "feelings" and how I feel and people saying what I should do to fix this problem, or that problem, that arent really problems! because advice is just somthing that I wanna hear from someone else that i already know, i get in a fight, i know i have to make up with them, but it always makes things better by hearing it from another person!

now im not saying its a bad thing, usually its a great thing, im really just sick of it myself, because usually by the end of it im crying or digging myself deeper into a hole of misery and feeling bad for myself. and most of the time i dont even have a really pacific reason, biggest one use to be, that im "depressed" then shortly learned after what being depressed really is, now it kinda bugs me when people who just feel sad say it. cause depressed and sad have not the same meaning what-so-ever

But that is way part my point, my point is that when i use to go to people for advice, i would go to them, but never go to the one who could fix everything cause he has control, Jesus, hes the tuor guide of my life, showing me new things everyday, and showing me the way to his kingdom above, Because Jesus knows everything about you, how you feel, what you see, each breath you take everyday, and greater advice could not be given from anyone else.

chelsey

My Prayer To You

God,
My Almighty Redeemer
I come to you for guidance, for help,
as i have not been the way I should
everyday, you blessme in ways i never knew possible,
yet i still bring upon filth and garbage
i love you, so much
yet whenever i try to grasp your meaing
and always falldown, and get myself hurt,
please father guide me, with your powerful and wonderful hands
help me to understand your word, and help others do the same
please help me with all the pain ive been feeling,
I am so blessed, so blessed it unbelievable,
yet i take your love for granid,
when I truly and really need it,

God, I feel so ashamed,
when I see how ive been acting
thinking depressing thoughts i shouldn't
i just really need to rememeber
I NEED you,
please, help me rememeber that

I thank you so much, for my friends in family
they make me who I am,
and thank you for the "X"
My Church. every Godly blessing you've put upon me,
is why i keep smiling
even when it hurts,
only because i know i have those blessings, and You.

Lord, im yours to take,
your forever in my heart
and im ever so greatful for you
my redeemer,
i love you

your daugther.. your follwer..

chelsey

Sometimes its the little things in our life that makes a big difference, Ive been finding lately its been the little things that matter most, maybe just a hug during welcome time at church, or a friendly face waiting for you by your locker to go to lunch so you wouldent be alone, or even just someone saying that thier praying for you, in a time of need, notice how you can get happier by just knowing someone cares? its really amazing, the need of the human heart is to be understood, so if we just took the time to listen to someone, imagenhow much of a difference that could be, just a little thing like that can do things that you would never know about, when I was in grade 7, All i did was complain about the littlest things, and there was one person that Always listened to me, and helped me, even if it was somthing so dumb! and i felt so happy, and still am, because the person listened to me, it did so many things inside.. and im thankful for him.. and still is, so lesson today! its good to listen! seek first to understand, then be understood! I just thought it was somthing i could talk about =)

amen!

It Sickens Me!

you know what.. It really sickens me! todays socitey, sure, i cant spell soicitey! but it really sickens me how its being brought up! I rememeber when I was a little girl, about 5, those were the good ol days, where i would get up every sunday morning, no distractions, no groaning, and be happy and giddy and excited! to go to church, i wouldent have to worry about anything in the world, and i rememeber alot of Kids that I go to school with or once did, would go to church to, because it seems when your younger, you really either wanna go to church, or you've been brought up that way.

By now your probabaly wondering what this is leading up to? Well this can lead up to alot of things, but I wish that speaking about God or Telling his word wasent such a shameful thing to some, and really why its so shameful is because of the society that these kids, the future generation has been brought up in!

sure, this is also the generation where there are alot of teens coming to God, but its not enough!! it will never be enough! and also its the generation of alot of kids Doing Stupid things, and I wish that i could get in some of the kids head that I meet to see whats so cool to them about smoking a cigarette, or saying the Lords Name in vain, i say congradulations to them for cursing behind their parents back, there now the coolest kid on the block! And really i think that its super cool that your giving your self lung diease, NO! its not okay to smoke, NO! its not okay to swear, people sometimes do this under pressure, but what started thier friends.. or there friends friends? I know this world cant be perfect, but its our job as Gods people to spread his wonderful world, and I really wish people would start seeing it like I do, or any other christian would, If only everyone in the world atleast had a little knowledge of God, so then they wouldent do the things they Did. But I Guess this world would be perfect.. wouldent it?

In Conclusion, I am totally sick of it, and i think alot of people can See where im coming from, and I really dont like how i use to be that person in the corner who would just watch the peers around her say how God isnt real or how the story of him is made up, how mary could still be a virgin and have Jesus was impossible, or how the bible is just another stupid book, i really don't know why i just stood back and took it! and i am ashamed of myself!

ITS TIME TO TAKE A STAND!!

Amen??

How?

how can someone so close to you, cause you so much pain, not like physical pain, but mentally and spirtually,

you wonder why were not as close as we use to be, well really, the fact is that ive drawn away from you by the way you treat me, you wonder why i dont talk to you like i use to, the fact is i dont wanna talk to you like i use to! swearing and cursing and telling me that im useless, that im stupid, to just shut my mouth and not talk? doesnt really help things, its you that makes me feel like crawling into a ball in my room and crying until i choke! or until i run out of tears, its you i go to for self cofidence, for motivatavion, for guidance, for help, and you shoot me down, you shoot me down so bad, and you ask me why i dont talk to you?

and another thing, i really wish that you would listen to what i have to say. Because everytime i try to talk to talk to you or say somthing, it goes in ear and out the other, and when you ask me about somthing later. I tell you i already told you like 2 other times, but then you start yelling at me for not just telling me, or how i lie, or how i just want to pick another fight with you, It just makes me teary when i think about it, because we use to be so close, and we just got so far

Im not trying to make you seem like the bad guy, because there have been times when Ive been the same, i just wish this would stop, really

Ill be praying for our relationship, and hope that you'll realize that the only person you wanna be with is Christ, other then that, i just dont know what to do.

I have a purpose!!

Yes, i Chelsey Gilbert, have a purpose in life!! and so do you!! yes, yesterday i attended Manna 06. and i got such a vibe of enegry from that one day, it just makes me very happy to be a follower of christ, ive never been to keen of trying to spread the word, but now, i feel like thats all i wanna do!! I'm no longer afraid to say invite someone to church like i Use to, I was afraid at one point and now really.. i cant rememeber why!!

all i know is a new vibe and enegry is flowing through me,

oh yes, i went to SNL tonight, and guess what? more inspiration! especailly when the band started singing "in christ alone" as we hit the second to the final verse, tears startedfilling my eyes, it just touched me in so many ways, and i could see that it also inspired many around me, who knew that one verse from a song, could spread so much joy, i think someday that will be my purpose, i hope i am full-filling mine now, or on my way! so happy i am, happy so am i. PRAISE GOD!! =) amen.

oh, and a congrats to jo (alex) who got baptised today!! tehehe! im happy for you man, i hope christ has many good things in store from you, things only get better from here=)

NIGHT FOLKS!