the well's runnin dry
this is it
i suppose novelty does wear off
i've lost count of the times i said "it's said & done"..
of the times i laughed it off saying "i'm ok"
now i know for realit's high time to be done with that One last cryand put a full stop to all the self deniali know it ain't easy
when smiling feels like I must wear this lonely maskit hurts deep insideand I just cannot hidegod knows why the heart aches like crazy
been running in circles
for the memories left behind
silly fool i am
to still be holding on
you said you'll be there whenever i need you
tell me
where the heck are you now
or was it the words i didn't say
i never thought you'd be so cruel
once my tree my sun
now you're obviously next to nothing
my smile is but a conjured one
what others don't see is the overwhelming pain swelling from within
as i'm writing this
i can't help but berate my naive self
i'm crumbling badly
but you won't know
no i won't allow that
if loving you is all that means to mewhen being happy is all I hope you'd be
then loving you must mean I really have to set you freeit's all or nothingwe'll be one or noneright now you need to know that I cannot begin againafter what just happenedthis ain't no tv showi've given full my heartonly it's completely broke
so,
don't you come around no more
don't come bringing me downtossin' and turnin'my smile's upside downdon't call me on the phonedon't come asking after me
i'm not okay & i don't wish to feign any pretense
though the prayers for you i'll silently keepmark good my wordsi'll walk away for god..shortly after this last cry.

Hey there!

heyhey! well its been a while sinces ive blogged! nothing really has been happening i just forgot about this thing.. but today I got an email saying someones signed me blog!! And i was like.. what blog?? what.. So yeah!! anywho.. Bye!



GO LEAFS GO!!

..i need help..

so much has happened in the past couple weeks.. ive have never been so depressed, sad, and argry in my life. so much has happened in the past couple weeks and I still wonder why everything always has to happen at once .. maybe its just my bad couple of weeks.. or maybe im doomed to be like this for the rest of my life.. but when stuff like this happens nothing sounds better then to just sit in your room , breakdown and cry!!! .. its not so much That I Havent asked for help.. I have.. and what i get for a responce? A Big Nothing.. but ohwell.. I guess its better to be alone & cry by yourself anyway.. right?

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it ok
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless
And maybe I'll find some peace tonight
(Chorus)
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
(Chorus)
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

I always loved this song.. now it has a new meaning to me.. and it means so much more.. ♥

Depressed Again

It's been a bad day
I'm getting used to it now
another sad day
I'd cry but I dunno how
I'm drowning in thoughts
of how things used to be
my chest was shut tight
complete w/ purity
It's out in the open
should've kept to myself
I'll learn from mistakes
take my heart off the shelf
my soul has now fled
it's my body alone
and it's far too much hurt
for my heart to come home
I give it up now
there's no way to win
w/o you here
my world still spins
It's been a bad day
I'll try to let it not show
another sad day
and I'm just letting go....

And the days gets colder.

and I get older.

and I have no shoulder.

to cry on.

and I cant seem to

let go.

.::me now!::.

.::

.::sick of it!::.

yes my fellow readers! it is that time again. the time where chelsey Is.. very sick!. yes. and I am sick ofbeing sick! my head and ears hurt.. I can't move. my throats killing me. and all that wonderful crap.. but in other news!

soccer season started and Im TOATALLY PUMPED!!!! and I mean taoallyy.. yeah! woah thats like one line? cool.

yeah! Well its 9:30 exactly and Im gunna go to bed.. Maybe it will make me betetr., who knows..

Cya! wow short blog

chel♥

♥♥I love you♥♥ people that actually read my bl.. *hack* sneeze* cough* ..."thump"

.*.

well. there is now 1 more day left of summer vastion. Boy the summer went by so fast! It seems like only yesterday it was summer fest. end of the year school actiividies. the pageant! . the last dance. crying. Laffing at what idiots we were. all that funn stuff! then the first of summer vactaion! tanning. camping. getting water up your nose. swalloing bucket club water. and getting threatened to be beat up beind the bathroom stalls .and I wont mention any names..*cough* *cough* DAN! haha. it was all great funn and Enjoyable. What an awesome summer And Now I'll Be Going Inot grade 8! and before you know it high school! wow. little. tall. chelsey is growing up so fast isent she? well I guess I am. Todays dans last sunday! and we all hate to see him leave. but Hey! its not the end of time or anything. Im sure next summer will be even more awesome considering SPIDERMAN 3 is coming out and Im so toatally Pumped!. Well school starts in two days!. . Woah. yeah. Well. talk to you later

Chelsey

.Make Poverty History.

Im serious its insane

how big poverty is in

africa and places like

that! we gotta put a stop

to it. its nuts!!

AHHH!!

OKAY! your probbly wodnering whitch is most likely what is worng with miss chelsey now? Why is she always doing this and why Is she acting the way she is!. Im just not happy with my self and I Am beating myself up for it now I may not be the most popular girl in any place And I may not have as many prolbems and I may not Be A Crazy Slut That dates Tons Of Guyz! I May not be a Toatally Perfect Christian That Focases There Lives On God! But You Know! I Try And Just Becuase I Dont Get It At First Dosent Make Me Any Worse Or Any Better Then ANyone And The Way People Are Acting Lately Just Makes Me Wanna Punch There Lights Out! But Thats Not All This Is About You Know I May Not Be Smart,I May Not Be Hott Or Pretty Or Anything Like That,But Honestly People semd sp much time on that they dont even relaize the one true goal in life,now it makes me feel really alone knowing I may be the only turly "focased" christian in maybe my grade. well Im probably not but it sure seems like it by the way People are acting lately and it makes me Sick! but it doesnt make me feel any better! No it does not. now the usual reaction from most fellow christians would be to PRAY About it And Let god forgive all your sins! well let me tell you somthing Mr Or Mrs I Think I Know Everything!Ive done that! lots And It dosent make me feel any better.. maybe it dose at times but there are those things you just wanna scream about and rip out your hair cause you know things gotta change but you really dont want them to!I seroulsly if I could I would just go 2 sleep and never wake up.that suicide stuff is a bunch of crap I just wanna Be a normal person! I dont wanna deal with life and I really dont wanna deal with I know is gunna happen soon.. ad no it is not school,it is not summer being gone and it is not dan&janelle leaving. I just wanna Have one normal Day is that too much to ask? I just wanna Not have a day without having to go into my room and cry until I start Hacking! Is that too much to ask? Is it? I Guess It Is..I Just Wanna Get Away From This Place..Forever.. And I May Be Alone.. but atleast I wouldent Have to put up with this crap.Im sick of this.how people treat me just because I seem quite,or how guyz push me around cause they think Im weak calling me stuff i dont even wanna say. I just wanna .scream!!!!!!!!

chelsey

no title

nothing seems right anymore!there may look like theres ntohing worng behind these sweet innocent nothings ever wrong with me eyes .but really if you think that you dont know a single thing about me do yah now? cause really EVERYTHINGS wrong!and your probably thinking.,shes got nothing to worry about. but you don't know that do you?cause there are things right now i just dont really wanna deal with but i guess i gotta sometime.that i just want to GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE CAUSE I WANT EVERYTHING TO STAY PUT!.i may not have much to you people out there to deal with but for me its enough .its pretty hard to deal with but I know i gotta LET Go and stop complaining like this? this is not gunna do anything yet alone crying or shoving it in somebodys face! none of that will make the prolbem or the thing any better or make it any worse.it'll just do nothing!now your probably wondering? what the frigg is she talking about! well obviously I am not going to tell you! and now really all i wanna do is break down and cry! but is that going to happen? no it is not! cause all your gunna see me o is fake a smile and go on with my day?I mean you'd probably never know I am like this. until you read this very entry! I mean .somtimes I just ask.Why God? why? . I know i was young but why? why? and why now God? why now? Please.Dont.And Goodnight.

~*cHeLsEy*~

.They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love.

We are one in the Spirit
We are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit
We are one in the Lord
And we pray that all unity
May one day be restored
And they’ll know we are Christians
By our love, By our love
Yes, they’ll know we are Christians
By our love
We will walk with each other
We will walk hand in hand
We will walk with each other
We will walk hand in hand
And together we’ll spread the news
That God is in our land
All praise to the Father
From whom all things come
And all praise to Christ Jesus His only son
And all praise to the Spirit
Who makes us one
Make us one, Lord!
Make us one, Lord!

Best Friend In The World

Everybody needs a best friend in this world
We all need one good thing in this cruel cruel world
That we can count on all of our lives
You sounded so alone last night and I could not help but cry
I wanted to reach out to you and just make everything all right
I wish that I could show you just how much I truly care
All my life I promise to be there
I would be your best friend in the world
I would be the one true thing in this untrue world
And I will hold you all through the night
I will be the best friend to you girl
You can tell me all those things that you can’t tell the world
And I will listen all through the night
I would’ve given anything just to wipe all your tears away
I would’ve walked for miles and miles all you had to do was say
If you needed me by morning light, know that I’m on my way
Cause all my life I promise to be there
Cause I would be your best friend in the world
I would be the one good thing in this cruel cruel world
That you can count on all of your life
I will be the best friend to you girl
You can show me all those things that you hide from the world
And I will be here for the rest of your life
When life’s hard to understand
I’m gonna reach out my hand to you
Hold on and you’ll see how much I care
Cause everybody needs a best friend in this world
We all need one good thing in this cruel cruel world
That we can count on all of our lives
Cause I wanna be the best friend in the world
I wanna be the one true thing in this untrue world
Yes I will hold you all through the night
I wanna be the best friend to you girl
Can I be the one good thing in this cruel cruel world
Yes I will be here for the rest of your life

how could this happen to me.

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold on
On to a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?

so yes!

well tomorrow my family and I are heading over to old home week! we are staying at a camp site near by and are gunna be there the hole weekend! go no sum rides, go to the dirby! its a thing we do usually every year! my grand parents are there and some other relatives! its usually really funn! Im very excited and it'll give me some time to relax! and maybe finish that stupid book that never seems to end!!!

today hasent been as bust as it was suppose to be,considering i really got up at 12:00 and most the stuff was already done!:) hehe. ive really spent the day.packing so its been a good day so far!

In other wonderful and not so exciting news!:as you all know hockey is BACK! and i am so pumped for it this year!not only for the Crappy NHL But For UNB!..atleast there a hockey team in town and im so toatally excited!hehe!

well I hope you enjoyed your stay here! theres not much else to say! today has been pretty normal.. not many people sign this thing.. well.. dan:S..But still leave me a comment!

The media

man,the media out there us crazy today!,having to look a certian way. now i dont really have "the look" out there,I Dont have the body the face the breasts,but its crazy how people out there think you have to have that image to be a somebody! you do not have to look a certian way to be a somebody, You can't control the way people think But COme On!!! its starting to draw the line of where it should stop,i mean they already crossed the line,from where they are you can't even see line!. I think its so stupid! but I mean what can I do?Im only a kid,i can't control the way people think,what they do,the way they treat people,i just think its stupid!..

In other happy news! I'm giving myself a choice of two new teams to go for! Bosten or the oilers! Tmls.. Nah.. Canadains..Nah.. I Wanna go for somthing different.. but i do not know who.. meh.. oh well.. its only hockey.. GO UNB!!!!!!!!!!! peace out!

Im your beloved

Lord it was you
who created the heveans
Lord it was your hand
That put the stars in their place
Lord it was your voice
That commands the morning
even oceans and their waves
bow at your feet
Lord who am I
compared to your glory Oh Lord
Lord who am I compared to your majasty

Chorus
I'm your beloved
Your creation
and you love me as I am
You have called me chosen
for your kingdom
Unashamed to call me your own
I'm your beloved

Lord it was you
Who created the heavans
Lord it was your hand
that put the stars in their place
Lord it was your voice
that commands the morning
even oceans and their waves
bow at your feet

Lord who am I
Compared to glory Oh Lord
Lord who am I
Compared to your majasty

I'm your beloved
Your creation
and you love me as I am
You have called me chosen
for your kingdom
Unashamed to call me your own
I'm your beloved

I am your beloved one
oh yea
one you've called chosen
woa woa
I'm your beloved
Your Creation
and you love me as i am
you have called me chosen for your kingdom
Unashamed to call me your own I'm your beloved

perfect

Hey dad look at me Think back and talk to me Did I grow up according to plan?

And do you think i'm wasting my time Doing things I wanna do?

But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud

I'm never gonna be good enough for you

Can't pretend that I'm all right and you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all

Nothing last forever

I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and we can't go back

I'm sorry I can't be perfect

I try not to think About the pain I feel inside

Did you know you used to be my hero?

All the days you spent with me

Now seem so far away

And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it

I just want to make you proud

I'm never gonna be good enough for you

I can't stand another fight

And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all Nothing last forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and we can't go back

I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said

Nothing's gonna make this right again

Please don't turn your back

I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you

But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and

we can't go back I'm sorry I can't be

perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said

Nothing's gonna make this right again

Please don't turn your back

I can't believe it's hard Just to talk to you

But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever

I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and We can't go back

I'm sorry I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and

We can't go back

I'm sorry I can't be perfect

a new day!

its a new day! a new day to start off with christ and his wonderful christian world! it just makes you feel amazing how someone like that could love.. millions of people.. SO MUCH.. it astounds me greatly! so today is sunday! church got cancelled because of MCF and tomorrow theres The X! my favriote thing of all times to do in the summer! and all year!. I Am Totally pumped for VBS next week! A wonderful rpogram that I Luckly get to be a apart of and Im toatally PuMpEd! its my first time being in an actaul site.. so.. its all new to me and very exciting!. Hopfully God's Word Will Get through to the younger kids and as they get older be smore excitied To have a relation ship with god and get baptised into him!:)though Im only a kid myself!.. Theres always hope that maybe I can change a life.. though .. You never knnooowww!!.

well this week has been full of wonderful suprizes! and this summers turning out great! and.. Im going camping this weekend in Wookstock!..*YeS!*..haha! I really can't wait! Sometimes you really just need to get away from it all.. schools starting soon too!.. Mixed emotions about that now.. And now I Must Be off!

later

chelsey