when i go down by relient K

you dont know how much this song resembles me! just read the lyrics

I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods
I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works
When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregaurd
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them
If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
Into a place where Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found
I've thrown away
The hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
So many things that could have been much more
I've thrown away
The secret to find the end to this
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not that way it works
When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregaurd
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them
Any control I thought I had just slipped through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me
Then and there I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet You love me
And that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly
You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do You make it light
As I exhale I hear Your voice
And I answer You, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's a fallen man's praise
Cause I love You
Oh God, I love You
And life is now worth living
If only because of You
And when they say that I am dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth
When I go down
I lift my eyes to You
I won't look very far
Cause You'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again

ola again! .. well this is the "kv cyotes" playing bball at the nackawic tournie! it was funn.. i enjoyed it!!!

peace! *

chellers

ola! well this is me just recently! with my two most favroite things in the WORLD! lol, yes thats right, Pepsi & Toronto Maple Leafs! pretty nice eh! lol

hey!

well I havent written in this for a while, so hello! lol, well how are you fellow readers? I am pretty good right now!!! right now hence, lately has been pretty...weird... hectic if you will, But basketball is the best! out of a hole of 2 games, we've won..one!! yay! at keswick ridge! yay! and stuff.. well i dont know what to write really.. um.. I went to Jessicas birthday party yeaterday, and then i went shopping.. and got a sweater! lol AE ! anywho,yeah, well i best be off!

later

chelso

Pieces* [Sum 41]

I tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it
I don't believe it makes me real
I thought it'd be easy, but no one believes me
I meant all the things that I said.
If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own.
This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don't know how it got so bad
Sometimes it's so crazy
That nothing can save me,
But it's the only thing that I have.
If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own.
On my own.
Ahh!
I tried to be perfect it just wasn't worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It's hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along.
If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own.

Happy New Year!

Well its 2006 and boy im Happy! i celabreated new years awesome! with my friend Jessica! it was great! we had coke and we even got it on camara! lol

im s happy its finally 2006, i can get a new start! and try to achive sme of my "new years resulations" for the year, im looking forward to the new year ahead of me!:)

Well i better be off! Happy 2006 Everyone!

Chelsey

happy

today! i'm gunna put the happy parts of my day!! :D well yesterday was our christmas concert with the church! (BCCOC) And since Dan, aka (spiderdan) Ben. Janelle,& Darrell were home! they came!:D so we all got to see them! (ive missed you guyz!:) )..hahaha.. yeah. anywho! it was all funn! we did the hole christmas cncert thing,i was the sheppard type thing. after has some punch! i drank 2 pints of punch! Lol! great funn.. we laughed and talked and ...i wore my canadien socks.. actually.. they were dans canadien socks.. .. well they were mine. but now dans.. but don't worry dan.. I wished them first!(y) ANYWHO!!!! youth group was just.. a couple minutes ago.. well... like an hour ago.... but... yeah... not that much off eh? WELL MY POINT IS!! we watched a HILARIOUS! video that Dan Brought called BANANAS!!! hahaha.. bananas! .. i thought i was gunna bust my side from laughing i was in to tears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah! its been a great weekend! my moms party was saturday.. yah.. bye

Merry Christmas!!! :)

ugh

its been a while.. im not in a good mood.. at all.. todays been a BAD DAY

the well's runnin dry
this is it
i suppose novelty does wear off
i've lost count of the times i said "it's said & done"..
of the times i laughed it off saying "i'm ok"
now i know for realit's high time to be done with that One last cryand put a full stop to all the self deniali know it ain't easy
when smiling feels like I must wear this lonely maskit hurts deep insideand I just cannot hidegod knows why the heart aches like crazy
been running in circles
for the memories left behind
silly fool i am
to still be holding on
you said you'll be there whenever i need you
tell me
where the heck are you now
or was it the words i didn't say
i never thought you'd be so cruel
once my tree my sun
now you're obviously next to nothing
my smile is but a conjured one
what others don't see is the overwhelming pain swelling from within
as i'm writing this
i can't help but berate my naive self
i'm crumbling badly
but you won't know
no i won't allow that
if loving you is all that means to mewhen being happy is all I hope you'd be
then loving you must mean I really have to set you freeit's all or nothingwe'll be one or noneright now you need to know that I cannot begin againafter what just happenedthis ain't no tv showi've given full my heartonly it's completely broke
so,
don't you come around no more
don't come bringing me downtossin' and turnin'my smile's upside downdon't call me on the phonedon't come asking after me
i'm not okay & i don't wish to feign any pretense
though the prayers for you i'll silently keepmark good my wordsi'll walk away for god..shortly after this last cry.

Hey there!

heyhey! well its been a while sinces ive blogged! nothing really has been happening i just forgot about this thing.. but today I got an email saying someones signed me blog!! And i was like.. what blog?? what.. So yeah!! anywho.. Bye!



GO LEAFS GO!!

..i need help..

so much has happened in the past couple weeks.. ive have never been so depressed, sad, and argry in my life. so much has happened in the past couple weeks and I still wonder why everything always has to happen at once .. maybe its just my bad couple of weeks.. or maybe im doomed to be like this for the rest of my life.. but when stuff like this happens nothing sounds better then to just sit in your room , breakdown and cry!!! .. its not so much That I Havent asked for help.. I have.. and what i get for a responce? A Big Nothing.. but ohwell.. I guess its better to be alone & cry by yourself anyway.. right?

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it ok
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless
And maybe I'll find some peace tonight
(Chorus)
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
(Chorus)
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

I always loved this song.. now it has a new meaning to me.. and it means so much more.. ♥

Depressed Again

It's been a bad day
I'm getting used to it now
another sad day
I'd cry but I dunno how
I'm drowning in thoughts
of how things used to be
my chest was shut tight
complete w/ purity
It's out in the open
should've kept to myself
I'll learn from mistakes
take my heart off the shelf
my soul has now fled
it's my body alone
and it's far too much hurt
for my heart to come home
I give it up now
there's no way to win
w/o you here
my world still spins
It's been a bad day
I'll try to let it not show
another sad day
and I'm just letting go....

And the days gets colder.

and I get older.

and I have no shoulder.

to cry on.

and I cant seem to

let go.

.::me now!::.

.::

.::sick of it!::.

yes my fellow readers! it is that time again. the time where chelsey Is.. very sick!. yes. and I am sick ofbeing sick! my head and ears hurt.. I can't move. my throats killing me. and all that wonderful crap.. but in other news!

soccer season started and Im TOATALLY PUMPED!!!! and I mean taoallyy.. yeah! woah thats like one line? cool.

yeah! Well its 9:30 exactly and Im gunna go to bed.. Maybe it will make me betetr., who knows..

Cya! wow short blog

chel♥

♥♥I love you♥♥ people that actually read my bl.. *hack* sneeze* cough* ..."thump"

.*.

well. there is now 1 more day left of summer vastion. Boy the summer went by so fast! It seems like only yesterday it was summer fest. end of the year school actiividies. the pageant! . the last dance. crying. Laffing at what idiots we were. all that funn stuff! then the first of summer vactaion! tanning. camping. getting water up your nose. swalloing bucket club water. and getting threatened to be beat up beind the bathroom stalls .and I wont mention any names..*cough* *cough* DAN! haha. it was all great funn and Enjoyable. What an awesome summer And Now I'll Be Going Inot grade 8! and before you know it high school! wow. little. tall. chelsey is growing up so fast isent she? well I guess I am. Todays dans last sunday! and we all hate to see him leave. but Hey! its not the end of time or anything. Im sure next summer will be even more awesome considering SPIDERMAN 3 is coming out and Im so toatally Pumped!. Well school starts in two days!. . Woah. yeah. Well. talk to you later

Chelsey

.Make Poverty History.

Im serious its insane

how big poverty is in

africa and places like

that! we gotta put a stop

to it. its nuts!!

AHHH!!

OKAY! your probbly wodnering whitch is most likely what is worng with miss chelsey now? Why is she always doing this and why Is she acting the way she is!. Im just not happy with my self and I Am beating myself up for it now I may not be the most popular girl in any place And I may not have as many prolbems and I may not Be A Crazy Slut That dates Tons Of Guyz! I May not be a Toatally Perfect Christian That Focases There Lives On God! But You Know! I Try And Just Becuase I Dont Get It At First Dosent Make Me Any Worse Or Any Better Then ANyone And The Way People Are Acting Lately Just Makes Me Wanna Punch There Lights Out! But Thats Not All This Is About You Know I May Not Be Smart,I May Not Be Hott Or Pretty Or Anything Like That,But Honestly People semd sp much time on that they dont even relaize the one true goal in life,now it makes me feel really alone knowing I may be the only turly "focased" christian in maybe my grade. well Im probably not but it sure seems like it by the way People are acting lately and it makes me Sick! but it doesnt make me feel any better! No it does not. now the usual reaction from most fellow christians would be to PRAY About it And Let god forgive all your sins! well let me tell you somthing Mr Or Mrs I Think I Know Everything!Ive done that! lots And It dosent make me feel any better.. maybe it dose at times but there are those things you just wanna scream about and rip out your hair cause you know things gotta change but you really dont want them to!I seroulsly if I could I would just go 2 sleep and never wake up.that suicide stuff is a bunch of crap I just wanna Be a normal person! I dont wanna deal with life and I really dont wanna deal with I know is gunna happen soon.. ad no it is not school,it is not summer being gone and it is not dan&janelle leaving. I just wanna Have one normal Day is that too much to ask? I just wanna Not have a day without having to go into my room and cry until I start Hacking! Is that too much to ask? Is it? I Guess It Is..I Just Wanna Get Away From This Place..Forever.. And I May Be Alone.. but atleast I wouldent Have to put up with this crap.Im sick of this.how people treat me just because I seem quite,or how guyz push me around cause they think Im weak calling me stuff i dont even wanna say. I just wanna .scream!!!!!!!!

chelsey

no title

nothing seems right anymore!there may look like theres ntohing worng behind these sweet innocent nothings ever wrong with me eyes .but really if you think that you dont know a single thing about me do yah now? cause really EVERYTHINGS wrong!and your probably thinking.,shes got nothing to worry about. but you don't know that do you?cause there are things right now i just dont really wanna deal with but i guess i gotta sometime.that i just want to GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE CAUSE I WANT EVERYTHING TO STAY PUT!.i may not have much to you people out there to deal with but for me its enough .its pretty hard to deal with but I know i gotta LET Go and stop complaining like this? this is not gunna do anything yet alone crying or shoving it in somebodys face! none of that will make the prolbem or the thing any better or make it any worse.it'll just do nothing!now your probably wondering? what the frigg is she talking about! well obviously I am not going to tell you! and now really all i wanna do is break down and cry! but is that going to happen? no it is not! cause all your gunna see me o is fake a smile and go on with my day?I mean you'd probably never know I am like this. until you read this very entry! I mean .somtimes I just ask.Why God? why? . I know i was young but why? why? and why now God? why now? Please.Dont.And Goodnight.

~*cHeLsEy*~